Dry at night?

At 21 months C is well on the way to being potty trained. I'm so proud! Right now, all the ups and downs on ECing seem so worth while. Now I am starting to think about ending night time nappys. We are not ready yet, partly because I am too tired/lazy for night EC, and partly because C still makes several visits to the milk bar each night, and what goes in must come out! But, I have been reading the nappy and potty training section on netmums, and this has really got me thinking.

How old will your child be before they are dry at night? Many parents find that they are still using nappys at night long after their child is reliably dry during the day. Sometimes many years later. Why would a child who understands the need to stay dry at day, choose to sit in their own waste at night? Lets look at things from the child's perspective.

As a young child, you probably don't have a choice in the matter. If you are left in your room for 11 or 12 hours a night, the chances are that you are going to nee to pee at some point. You are not yet independent enough to get undressed and go to the bathroom on your own, and maybe you are imprisoned in a cot, or zipped into a sleeping bag. Having been successfully trained to "sleep through" the night, you understand that mum and dad simply don't want to be disturbed during the night. Maybe you used to cry out when you woke with a full bladder, but it has been made quite plain that when this happens you should pee in your nappy and get back to sleep.

At some point as you get older you start to realize that you are expected to stay dry at night. Probably by now you can take yourself to the bathroom and undress yourself, but after years of the convenience of using your nappy, getting out of bed must seem such an effort. You're night time toileting needs have been ignored forover 2 years, first by your carers, then slowly by you too. Now maybe you don't even wake up fully to pee. Even if when your parents are brave enough to put you to bed without a nappy the wet bedclothes are still warmed by your skin and in your sleepy state you might this might not be enough incentive to change your habits.

Now, if you slept in the same room as your parents, as the vast majority of children have over the history of our human civilization, they would probably notice your stiring or wriggling and be able to help you to the toilet when you needed to go. Alone, in your room, the best they can offer is a preemptive "lifting" before they go to bed, then you are on your own. No wonder it takes some children years!

Is there a solution to this problem? I can think of only one and that is to sleep close enough to you child to be able to help them with their toileting needs until they gain the independence to do this alone. If you start early, then hopefully they will not ever learn to pee while asleep, but even if you start later, you will be probably soon be able to figure out when in the night they need a trip to the toilet. Hopefully they would then get used to waking and getting out of bed to pee. The only real alternative is to accept nappy use until their bladder can last all night, or they learn to recognize the signs on their own and take themselves to the toilet. For some children this happens quite soon after day time toilet training, for others you may have to wait until they are 5 or 6 years old.